it's a feeling of relief...
the same reality goes with it being a feeling of regret...
t'was not a waste but it messed up my unstirred world. now i'm thankful that it was over. Now I'm thankful that it was gone!
Was it totally over? Was it totally gone?
how could I say so? How could I tell so? How could I know?
how could I say it's over when everytime our eyes meet I feel an ocean of ice where I am submerged? How could I say it's gone when everytime we sit side by side I feel an ocean of fire, torning apart every piece of me? How could I know that the feeling was or is over when these things are still true as of the moment?
How could I know?
it's a puzzle worth sleepless nights and I admit that I had plenty of those. I HAD Plenty of those sleepless nights because of introspecting things.I HAD Plenty of those sleepless nights because of answering my own I-don't-know-if-this-is-it-or-not questions!I HAD Plenty of those sleepless nights where I am having just STUPID single damn thought- HIM! that was all ! HIM!
I hate him because he takes away little by little the love I have for my self by sacrificing some of my egoistic attitude! He takes away minute by minute the time I have for myself by impregnating my thoughts of his very existence! He takes away parcel by parcel evry part of me by being a friend who can offer no more than what we are-FRIENDS!!!
all the time it was a regret because everything that I had for him remained a secret, remained non-verbalized thoughts reverberating every wall of my soul! which every time it echoes, a rush of blood pumps through my veins with pain and hatred! What if I had the will and guts t say it to him? I wish I had but what I have is just the GUTS and not the WILL! i'ts better not to end our friendship by keeping this feeling on my own! I know time will come that this feeling will be gone. that this feeling will be replaced by an affection for a plain friend. i know that time will come, this relationship will not be stained by any form of outward admiration.
TIME WILL COME and if not I will stand firm to wait!
