December 20, 2009
10:30 in the evening!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas and I hope it's a happy New Year.
It's an unbearable night.
He smiled at me and I smiled back at him
He danced with me likeI dance with strangers in the dancefloor
He sat beside me and I told him to draw his chair closer to me
He whispered my ear and I chatted back to his ear
He caressed by back and i let his hands stay there.
He kissed me and I just let him kiss me.
I never can disagree
it feel poisoned, sick and intoxicated.
I feel slumber, vulnerable and fragile!
I knew him as my best girfriend's ultimate crush.
that's all that ties my acquaintance with him.
I never desired to be with him.
"Merry Christmas" we started the night's affair by giving each other this heart-felt greeting.
HE SMILED AT ME AND WE SHOOK HANDS.
after eating, we opened the gifts we receive from evrybody around.
we drink a lot and submitted ourselves to merriment!
there it happened!
It's an unbearable night.
He smiled at me and I smiled back at him
He danced with me likeI dance with strangers in the dancefloor
He sat beside me and I told him to draw his chair closer to me
He whispered my ear and I chatted back to his ear
He caressed by back and i let his hands stay there.
He kissed me and I just let him kiss me.
I never can disagree
it feel poisoned, sick and intoxicated.
I feel slumber, vulnerable and fragile!
I knew him as my best girfriend's ultimate crush.
that's all that ties my acquaintance with him.
I don't know how to tell this to my friend but I kissed his boy and I liked it!!!
ugh. it's not a very lovely thing to remember but i feel very guilty because of that!
For now, I want to say sorry for what I have done. I love you but, merry Christmas and I hope it's a happy new year.
Sunday, December 20
Saturday, September 26
I saw him under a green-roofed shed along the high way on a cold rainy afternoon. he has a long sleek black hair which he was brushing when the vehicle I rode passed the way. It was a simple short glance yet my attention was lost to the infinity of forever that seemed to enveloped me for that time being when our eyes met. It was a feeling of emptiness within a bottomless pit of darkness and a feeling of a deep sting of coldness, a numbing coldness. Could it be destiny or was just an odd feeling caused by the exhausting travel back to school? From that moment on my thoughts were filled with his image. It was just once when I saw him but his picture gets into good shape and color in my consciousness. It's odd yet seemingly satisfying.
It's odd because it's a real new thing but the idea of it as satisfying is quite unexplainable.
He is slender yet had has his hands appear to be of having great strength.
He has pale skin that of which has not known any beam of sunlight for a long time!
It was not like of the Undead but he has this skin that made him appealing and pleasurable to the eyes of mine! I can't blame myself for admiring him from the very moment I saw him at that shed! Damn, he is fairer than me and is completely admirable with his hair so black and straight!
Whahaaha. Has my senses got the better out of me?! Even if it does, I don't care!Uh oh...I was never attracted so much to a stranger guy this way before but his existence made me realize that perfection in human race is not a lie! He can be considered as one!
If it appearsto you that I would be on my knees to beg for his companionship, it will be a pleasure on my party to act upon the idea. I'd love to. But how could I? I don't even have any form of communication to him, not even his name! But I'm pretty much sure he isn't some nasty guy nor a suspicious goon! He can't be, with that angelic look, there's a big arc of question in there!
well, that was long a time ago, I have his number now!
I admit, Ihave none of any formal relationships with guys but It doesn't mean that I do not have the idea of what love is and how it feels to be inlove!
I named him Ichigo since I really like the name( If it rings a bell to you, then you must be right, you Know Ichigo-that if you get hold of my cellphone and try to call the first name that appears on my phonebook). Hahahaha
At least for now I'm satisfied with the kind of situation I have with this stranger guy named Ichigo!
It's odd because it's a real new thing but the idea of it as satisfying is quite unexplainable.
He is slender yet had has his hands appear to be of having great strength.
He has pale skin that of which has not known any beam of sunlight for a long time!
It was not like of the Undead but he has this skin that made him appealing and pleasurable to the eyes of mine! I can't blame myself for admiring him from the very moment I saw him at that shed! Damn, he is fairer than me and is completely admirable with his hair so black and straight!
Whahaaha. Has my senses got the better out of me?! Even if it does, I don't care!Uh oh...I was never attracted so much to a stranger guy this way before but his existence made me realize that perfection in human race is not a lie! He can be considered as one!
If it appearsto you that I would be on my knees to beg for his companionship, it will be a pleasure on my party to act upon the idea. I'd love to. But how could I? I don't even have any form of communication to him, not even his name! But I'm pretty much sure he isn't some nasty guy nor a suspicious goon! He can't be, with that angelic look, there's a big arc of question in there!
well, that was long a time ago, I have his number now!
I admit, Ihave none of any formal relationships with guys but It doesn't mean that I do not have the idea of what love is and how it feels to be inlove!
I named him Ichigo since I really like the name( If it rings a bell to you, then you must be right, you Know Ichigo-that if you get hold of my cellphone and try to call the first name that appears on my phonebook). Hahahaha
At least for now I'm satisfied with the kind of situation I have with this stranger guy named Ichigo!
Monday, August 31
I thought YOU starts with WHY and ends with YOU...
Literally YOU starts with Y and ends with U, on the other side, there is a fact that if we would spell these letters, they would mean differently!
I really thought that my existence was for him! the answer to my never-ending WHY's. I always say to myself that it is YOU who answers every WHY of my thought, words and actions!
I just thought so because you were nice and emphatic! I really don't know! maybe you hurt me much when you made me think that i was not in a way or the other connected to your problems and that means i'm not one way or the other connected to your life!
there is no possible way to getting back into the past of fantasy. where lies and liars abound-this does not mean an escape from the adversities and cruel world but an attempt to leave behind people who should not be involved with the journey of my life! the things that can be faced with straight shoulders and straightforward vision is the reality of the Present!
Damn! T'was a hard bitter way clearing things OUT! it's the biggest of all the mistakes i've done so far in the half of my whole life!
T'was a hard bitter way out but I say it's ultimately effective! how could i just afforded myself to fooled around for such a long time! I pity myself, though I shoul not, Nevertheless, I pity that liar more! I admit that I'm also a liar! I was, I'm still and will always be a liar in no matter circumstance lie is needed for somebody's good or somebody's disgrace according to my subjective analysis! I grant punishment to those who've done wrong to me! I declare war against their substance as well as their souls! Unforgivig as I may appear but there is a big possibility that if i don't break things up with them or with him I will be the one to turn up broken at the end of the day!
Stupid me! Foolish them! He deceived me with such a facade of genuine friendship but it's a one-sided perception! I've poured thousand of tears over him! got to my feet and had to pull myself back again for a countless of times whenever troubles come before or after him! I may sound so selfish but I think if I would not be selfish I would totally be shattered into tiny pieces and who migth know? I'll never be able to regain nor vindicate myself!!!
Somebody might understand, mostly would not! this post is written for self expression and not derrogate anybody's personality! after all it's an intellectual property! I own this feeling and i have the right to express it!!!
the next time you fall for someone close to you, watch out! you may be deceived with an angelic smile behind that pretentious mask!!!beacuse there is no possible way to getting back into the past of fantasy. where lies and liars abound-this does not mean an escape from the adversities and cruel world but an attempt to leave behind people who should not be involved with the journey of my life! the things that can be faced with straight shoulders and straightforward vision is the reality of the Present!
I really thought that my existence was for him! the answer to my never-ending WHY's. I always say to myself that it is YOU who answers every WHY of my thought, words and actions!
I just thought so because you were nice and emphatic! I really don't know! maybe you hurt me much when you made me think that i was not in a way or the other connected to your problems and that means i'm not one way or the other connected to your life!
there is no possible way to getting back into the past of fantasy. where lies and liars abound-this does not mean an escape from the adversities and cruel world but an attempt to leave behind people who should not be involved with the journey of my life! the things that can be faced with straight shoulders and straightforward vision is the reality of the Present!
Damn! T'was a hard bitter way clearing things OUT! it's the biggest of all the mistakes i've done so far in the half of my whole life!
T'was a hard bitter way out but I say it's ultimately effective! how could i just afforded myself to fooled around for such a long time! I pity myself, though I shoul not, Nevertheless, I pity that liar more! I admit that I'm also a liar! I was, I'm still and will always be a liar in no matter circumstance lie is needed for somebody's good or somebody's disgrace according to my subjective analysis! I grant punishment to those who've done wrong to me! I declare war against their substance as well as their souls! Unforgivig as I may appear but there is a big possibility that if i don't break things up with them or with him I will be the one to turn up broken at the end of the day!
Stupid me! Foolish them! He deceived me with such a facade of genuine friendship but it's a one-sided perception! I've poured thousand of tears over him! got to my feet and had to pull myself back again for a countless of times whenever troubles come before or after him! I may sound so selfish but I think if I would not be selfish I would totally be shattered into tiny pieces and who migth know? I'll never be able to regain nor vindicate myself!!!
Somebody might understand, mostly would not! this post is written for self expression and not derrogate anybody's personality! after all it's an intellectual property! I own this feeling and i have the right to express it!!!
the next time you fall for someone close to you, watch out! you may be deceived with an angelic smile behind that pretentious mask!!!beacuse there is no possible way to getting back into the past of fantasy. where lies and liars abound-this does not mean an escape from the adversities and cruel world but an attempt to leave behind people who should not be involved with the journey of my life! the things that can be faced with straight shoulders and straightforward vision is the reality of the Present!
Sunday, May 24
STD victims shout:
English people in times of STD!!!(stress, trouble and despair)
their agonies reflected in song lyrics:
I feel adrenalin rushing through my head!!!:_i DUNNO_
said shishini! a.k.a. akire
the old me is dead and gone!:_Justin Timberlake_
said masha!
Que sera sera!!!:_cant remember_
said mapagpumiglas! a.k.a. BIDAMAN
Inubos kong lahat panahon ko sa 'yo!, kulang na kulang ba? hindi pa ba sapat?:_MYMP_
said Nyl Anneish! a.k.a HART JR.
you are my destiny, jai ho!_pussycat dolls featuring nicole_
said raijho a.k.a. moji
I believe I believe!!!: _Il Divo_
said Mr. University 2008 a.k.a shoga ( adapted from mapagpumiglas)
I gave my best but i guess my best wasn't good enough!:_cant Remember_
said Iwa a.k.a. Rocky
tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again don't make me change my mind!!!
said jira a.k.a rai
oops i did it again!!!_BRITNEY(nice song but i prefer if you seek amy better nyahahaahah)
said sisterhood a.k.a. teddy
you left me all alone, go on do what you want!!!
said the supahmodel a.k.a ALPHY
it's the climb!!!
said GGOOODDESSS
i apologize for th incomplete entries: i did not have enough time to research for other English peole's voices because of proximity.
i am happy that almost all of the things are accomplished, though some are late some are incomplete. life is a dominant process-based assessment. things we have made do not WARRANT the label for a successful person. it is on the process, how we put meaning to those experiences that we encouter and how we responded to them.
God will always be there but be sure to give you surrender to him eve you littlest doubt.
their agonies reflected in song lyrics:
I feel adrenalin rushing through my head!!!:_i DUNNO_
said shishini! a.k.a. akire
the old me is dead and gone!:_Justin Timberlake_
said masha!
Que sera sera!!!:_cant remember_
said mapagpumiglas! a.k.a. BIDAMAN
Inubos kong lahat panahon ko sa 'yo!, kulang na kulang ba? hindi pa ba sapat?:_MYMP_
said Nyl Anneish! a.k.a HART JR.
you are my destiny, jai ho!_pussycat dolls featuring nicole_
said raijho a.k.a. moji
I believe I believe!!!: _Il Divo_
said Mr. University 2008 a.k.a shoga ( adapted from mapagpumiglas)
I gave my best but i guess my best wasn't good enough!:_cant Remember_
said Iwa a.k.a. Rocky
tonight will be the night that i will fall for you over again don't make me change my mind!!!
said jira a.k.a rai
oops i did it again!!!_BRITNEY(nice song but i prefer if you seek amy better nyahahaahah)
said sisterhood a.k.a. teddy
you left me all alone, go on do what you want!!!
said the supahmodel a.k.a ALPHY
it's the climb!!!
said GGOOODDESSS
i apologize for th incomplete entries: i did not have enough time to research for other English peole's voices because of proximity.
i am happy that almost all of the things are accomplished, though some are late some are incomplete. life is a dominant process-based assessment. things we have made do not WARRANT the label for a successful person. it is on the process, how we put meaning to those experiences that we encouter and how we responded to them.
God will always be there but be sure to give you surrender to him eve you littlest doubt.
no
matter
what
i'm
always
here
on
the other
side
Thursday, April 16
TIME will COME!: If Not... I'll Wait!
it's a feeling of relief...
the same reality goes with it being a feeling of regret...
t'was not a waste but it messed up my unstirred world. now i'm thankful that it was over. Now I'm thankful that it was gone!
Was it totally over? Was it totally gone?
how could I say so? How could I tell so? How could I know?
how could I say it's over when everytime our eyes meet I feel an ocean of ice where I am submerged? How could I say it's gone when everytime we sit side by side I feel an ocean of fire, torning apart every piece of me? How could I know that the feeling was or is over when these things are still true as of the moment?
How could I know?
it's a puzzle worth sleepless nights and I admit that I had plenty of those. I HAD Plenty of those sleepless nights because of introspecting things.I HAD Plenty of those sleepless nights because of answering my own I-don't-know-if-this-is-it-or-not questions!I HAD Plenty of those sleepless nights where I am having just STUPID single damn thought- HIM! that was all ! HIM!
I hate him because he takes away little by little the love I have for my self by sacrificing some of my egoistic attitude! He takes away minute by minute the time I have for myself by impregnating my thoughts of his very existence! He takes away parcel by parcel evry part of me by being a friend who can offer no more than what we are-FRIENDS!!!
all the time it was a regret because everything that I had for him remained a secret, remained non-verbalized thoughts reverberating every wall of my soul! which every time it echoes, a rush of blood pumps through my veins with pain and hatred! What if I had the will and guts t say it to him? I wish I had but what I have is just the GUTS and not the WILL! i'ts better not to end our friendship by keeping this feeling on my own! I know time will come that this feeling will be gone. that this feeling will be replaced by an affection for a plain friend. i know that time will come, this relationship will not be stained by any form of outward admiration.
TIME WILL COME and if not I will stand firm to wait!
the same reality goes with it being a feeling of regret...
t'was not a waste but it messed up my unstirred world. now i'm thankful that it was over. Now I'm thankful that it was gone!
Was it totally over? Was it totally gone?
how could I say so? How could I tell so? How could I know?
how could I say it's over when everytime our eyes meet I feel an ocean of ice where I am submerged? How could I say it's gone when everytime we sit side by side I feel an ocean of fire, torning apart every piece of me? How could I know that the feeling was or is over when these things are still true as of the moment?
How could I know?
it's a puzzle worth sleepless nights and I admit that I had plenty of those. I HAD Plenty of those sleepless nights because of introspecting things.I HAD Plenty of those sleepless nights because of answering my own I-don't-know-if-this-is-it-or-not questions!I HAD Plenty of those sleepless nights where I am having just STUPID single damn thought- HIM! that was all ! HIM!
I hate him because he takes away little by little the love I have for my self by sacrificing some of my egoistic attitude! He takes away minute by minute the time I have for myself by impregnating my thoughts of his very existence! He takes away parcel by parcel evry part of me by being a friend who can offer no more than what we are-FRIENDS!!!
all the time it was a regret because everything that I had for him remained a secret, remained non-verbalized thoughts reverberating every wall of my soul! which every time it echoes, a rush of blood pumps through my veins with pain and hatred! What if I had the will and guts t say it to him? I wish I had but what I have is just the GUTS and not the WILL! i'ts better not to end our friendship by keeping this feeling on my own! I know time will come that this feeling will be gone. that this feeling will be replaced by an affection for a plain friend. i know that time will come, this relationship will not be stained by any form of outward admiration.
TIME WILL COME and if not I will stand firm to wait!
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